THE QUIET ROOM - Where the Mirror Meets the Eye

“A slap on a man’s face echoes twice; first on his skin, then in the place where his dignity hides.” - Rita Nwachukwu

Tunde used to be the kind of man whose laughter filled a room; his smile and warmth are unforced. People said he had a light around him, something gentle but alive. But lately, even he couldn’t remember the sound of his own laughter. Why? Because life with Mama Ebube had changed things.

She was older, admired, and powerful in a way that drew respect the moment she entered any space. When they first started dating, her confidence fascinated him. She spoke like someone who had conquered life; she held him in a way and manner that protect him, but then, he didn’t expect that one day, he would be the one needing protection from her. The first incident happened so quickly that even memory sometimes stuttered. She had grabbed his phone, scrolled through it, and found a message, a harmless message, someone teasing him about missing a staff meeting. And then the storm broke!

Words sharper than blades, accusations he didn’t earn, a slap that cracked something inside him far deeper than bone. He didn’t shout, he didn’t raise a hand, he only stood there, stunned, watching a woman he cared for turn into someone he barely knew.

“When begging no longer holds water, the river of your tears becomes proof that you’ve stayed too long.” - Niran Adewale

She apologized the next day, and even cried, saying stress was getting to her, that she didn’t know what came over her. And Tunde, the man who always tried to understand people, believed her. But apologies began to pile up like stones on his chest; while shouting became frequent, the grabbing, the pushing, and the slaps became a routine. Society calls men strong. But strength becomes a prison when it keeps you quiet. So Tunde learned the art of silence. He learned how to smile in public while something inside him crumbled. He learned how to hide trembling hands in his pockets. He learned how to cry at night without waking the neighbors.

Sometimes he would sit alone in the dark living room, the only light coming from the street lamps leaking through the curtains. He would stare at nothing, listening to the sound of his own breathing. That quiet room became the only place he could let himself feel the weight of what he was enduring. Men are not encouraged to cry. Men are not expected to be victims. Men are told to “man up,” to endure, to swallow pain like medicine. So Tunde endured. And swallowed. And broke quietly.

Nobody saw the bruises beneath his shirt, nobody noticed the cracks in his voice when he lied about falling or bumping into the door. He hinted the ordeal to Anthony, his friend, that things were bad at home. Anthony laughed it off and said, “Guy, woman dey beat you? Abeg no talk that nonsense!” That laughter sealed his silence.

One evening, after another explosion of anger over another meaningless issue, Tunde found himself staring at the mirror. His eyes looked older. His shoulders slumped. His spirit dimmed. And for the first time, he whispered to himself: “I deserve peace.” It was such a small sentence. But small things have power.

The next morning, he packed a small bag. He didn’t shout or argue. He didn’t wait for her apology. He simply walked out; not because he was weak, but because he finally remembered his worth. He chose himself. He chose safety. He chose peace.

People may never understand his story. Society may continue to ignore the quiet suffering of men. Some may mock him, call him names, or question his masculinity. But Tunde knows the truth:

No matter what a woman sees on a man’s phone…

No matter the suspicion or the anger…

No matter the height of emotions…Violence is never justified!

And no matter the history, the shared memories, or the “what will people say,” every man has the right to walk away from a relationship that wounds him, either outside his body or inside his soul.

Some men cry silently. Some men break quietly. Some men leave without noise. And that quiet escape can be the loudest act of courage a man will ever make. 

In the quiet room, it is where the Mirror meets the eye!